Intermission 1: Trips with the Kids

The previous chapter highlighted the many stressful events that happened in my life after 1998. They are discussed because they are relevant to the story told throughout this book. I, however, don’t want the reader to think the entire period was full of stress and turmoil. It was not.

As an untenured assistant professor, it was important for me to build a productive research program. In addition to writing many research proposals to various government agencies and submitting papers to archival journals, traveling to and presenting at conferences was another important part. Since many conferences are in interesting places, I planned as much as possible to bring Rita and the kids along if there were things for them to do. Amanda’s medical needs made this quite difficult as we didn’t want to risk being away from her regular doctors if something happened.

I think the first conference Caleb went to was one in Las Vegas. This would have been the week before he turned one year old. I don’t remember many details from the trip, but I recall visiting Hoover Dam with him. We obviously took in all the sites and sounds of Las Vegas. I recall getting kicked out of the casino area of one place because I was carrying him on my back, and apparently, “minors” are not allowed in the casino. I wasn’t gambling and was only walking through it because Caleb seemed fascinated by all the lights and sounds.

Caleb also came along for a conference in the San Francisco Bay Area in the summer of 2000. We met my friend from graduate school, Elaine, at the beach there, and I remember her holding him and dipping his feet in the ocean. He had fun playing in the sand. It must have been this trip that we also drove down to the Los Angeles area to visit relatives. I recall Caleb singing for/with my Aunt Joanie while my Aunt Charlotte videotaped him. Caleb’s hair basically grew straight out–we could never get it to lay down–and because of his glasses, people would frequently comment that he looked like the kid from Jerry Maguire, a popular movie from a few years before.

We took Caleb to Disneyland and Legoland. I’ve always found Disneyland to be kind of a disappointment, and I’m not sure if Caleb was old enough to enjoy it. Legoland, however, was a lot of fun, and I think Caleb enjoyed his time there much more. He was never really into Legos but seeing all the amazing things they had built for the park was fascinating. Although, maybe it was simply my interest that rubbed off on him. I recall on the trip down to Legoland, near San Diego, that it must have been strawberry season as we stopped twice to pick them. These were the huge variety that you often see dipped in chocolate. We ate the entire first batch that we picked and decided to go back and pick more. I doubt those made it back to Los Angeles. I’m surprised we didn’t get sick; at least I don’t remember getting sick.

The most memorable conference Caleb came to was one in 2001 in Pittsburgh from September 9 through 12. Rita was pregnant with Amanda at the time. I don’t remember a great deal besides the obvious. I was actually scheduled to give a presentation in the early morning of the 11th. As usual, I got to the conference room early to make sure there would be no technical difficulties. This conference was a large one, with many sessions running in parallel throughout the day. There are usually four or five presentations per session. I think mine might have been the first or the second of the session. I recall giving my presentation to basically an audience of the session chair and the other presenters. You don’t expect a great turnout for the early sessions, but I was pretty disappointed. I’m not sure if I stuck around for the talks after mine or if the word had trickled in that something major had happened. We stayed in the same hotel as the conference was being held, so I decided to go back to the room to see what was going on. I recall hearing various discussions on my way there and someone saying he was a pilot, and he couldn’t understand how it was possible. There was just a great deal of confusion. I think people forget that at the time, no one had really considered that hijackers would or could fly a jumbo jet into a building. I got back to my room, and Rita had the news on. I think by that time, both towers had been hit, but they were still standing. I also remember there being news of a plane crashing near Pittsburgh, and we weren’t certain if it was safe to stay in the high-rise hotel we were in. Again, at the time, we had no idea how many planes had been hijacked and where they were heading. I recall trying to reassure Rita we were certainly safe because it seemed like the Pittsburgh Hilton & Towers–now the Wyndham Grand Pittsburgh Downtown–would be an unlikely target.

A woman in a blue dress holds a baby in a carrier next to a Hoover Dam sign with a water drop emblem. — Woman and child pose beside the Hoover Dam sign.
A woman wearing a light blue dress stands holding an infant in a black and blue carrier. Behind them is a large circular emblem on a gray wall featuring a stylized water drop containing a depiction of the Hoover Dam, surrounded by text that includes 'HOVER DAM'. Above the emblem, the words 'HOVER DAM' are displayed in gold lettering.

Two children standing on a sandy beach with the ocean in the background; one child holds hands over eyes. — Children posing on a sunny beach near the ocean.
A boy wearing glasses, a white t-shirt with a blue stripe, and camouflage shorts stands next to a girl in a tie-dye shirt and yellow shorts. In the background, an adult walks away from the camera carrying a bucket and a shovel-like object on the sand near the water's edge.

A large group of children and adults posing for a photo on the steps of a grand building with white columns and statues. — A group of children and adults pose for a photo on the steps of a grand building.
A large group of children and adults are arranged in rows on the wide, curved marble steps of an ornate interior hall. The setting features classical architecture with white balustrades, tall columns, and statues flanking the staircase. Several individuals in the back row are wearing name tags.

Two children in winter jackets standing in front of a stone wall in a wooded area with snow on the ground. — Two children pose in front of a dry stone wall in a forest setting during winter.
A young girl in a light blue and teal jacket stands to the left, while a boy in a dark blue hooded coat stands to her right. They are positioned in front of a rustic stone wall within a wooded area that has patches of snow on the ground and fallen leaves covering the forest floor.

A large bronze statue of a man in formal attire stands inside a circular room with people around its base. — People gather near the base of a tall bronze statue in a domed interior space.
A full-length bronze statue of a man wearing a long coat and trousers stands on a dark pedestal inside a circular, well-lit hall. Several visitors are visible at the statue's feet, including one boy sitting directly beside it and others standing nearby.

Two children standing in front of a train car with a chain-link fence behind them. — Two children pose in front of a train car near a chain-link fence.
A young girl in a yellow top and striped skirt stands next to a boy in a red Iron Man shirt and khaki shorts. They are positioned on grassy ground with a green chain-link fence between them and a silver Amtrak sleeping car in the background.

A young boy with glasses wearing a red shirt sits on a train seat next to a small TV and water bottle. — A young boy in a red shirt and glasses looks at the camera while seated on a train.
A young boy with brown hair and glasses, wearing a red long-sleeved shirt, is seated on a blue upholstered seat. To his right is a fold-down table holding a small television screen, a plastic water bottle, and several brochures or pamphlets. A white pillow rests against the back of the seat.

A mermaid statue with red hair sits next to a child in a decorated underwater-themed room. — A child stands beside a mermaid figure in a festive, cave-like setting.
A life-sized mermaid statue with red hair and a green tail is seated on a rock formation inside a dimly lit, cave-style room. A young boy in a plaid shirt sits nearby looking at the mermaid. The scene includes colorful garlands, star decorations, and an open treasure chest on a barrel.

A young girl with long blonde hair wearing a pink shirt sits facing a train window while looking out at the passing scenery. — A child looks out the window of a moving train.
A young girl with long blonde hair, wearing a pink top, is seated inside a train car facing a large window. The view outside shows motion blur indicating speed, with blue curtains framing the window on both sides. On the seat in front of her are informational cards and a small screen displaying an image.

A woman and a young boy with glasses sit together on a ride vehicle in a park setting. — A smiling woman and a young boy enjoy a ride outdoors.
A woman with sunglasses on her head sits behind a young boy wearing glasses on what appears to be an amusement park ride. They are surrounded by green foliage and metal structures typical of outdoor attractions.

A man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt sits behind a young child with light hair in an outdoor setting. — Man and child posing together outdoors.
A man with short dark hair and glasses, wearing a plaid button-up shirt, is seated outdoors next to a young child with curly blonde hair. The background features green foliage and a metal structure, possibly part of a ride or shelter. Both individuals are looking toward the camera.

A man in a striped shirt and jeans walks on grass while a young boy in a tie-dye shirt holds his arm. — A man and a young boy walking outdoors on a grassy area with vehicles and trees in the background.
An adult male wearing a striped short-sleeve shirt, blue jeans, sandals, and a cap walks across a lawn. A young boy beside him wears a tie-dye t-shirt, denim shorts, and sandals, holding onto the man's arm. In the background are parked cars, a trailer, trees, and a tarp on the ground.

Two children standing on grass near a tent in a residential area with parked cars and trees. — Children playing outside near a tent in a suburban setting.
A large blue and gray tent is set up on the left side of a grassy yard. Two young children, one girl and one boy, are standing on the lawn; the girl faces away from the camera while the boy walks toward the right. In the background, there are trees, a street, and several parked vehicles including SUVs and sedans.

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The entire situation was just surreal. I recall seeing the buildings basically burning with huge gashes. At first, I’m not sure it was even clear what had hit them because I don’t think the news had footage of the planes flying into them. I recall some debate about them collapsing, but the consensus (and my feeling as a mechanical engineer) was that if they hadn’t collapsed on the impact, they probably wouldn’t. Then I remember seeing the first tower collapse. It was the second one to be hit but was hit lower. When I watched it collapse, I remember immediately thinking, as a mechanical engineer, that I had not considered a collapse happening the way it did. As an engineer, you are constantly trying to predict ways something might fail and prevent it. I had worked at NASA Langley Research Center the summer before and had watched as senior engineers with years of experience watch experiments fail in entirely unforeseen ways. “Wow! Never considered that happening” was heard often.

When I saw how the first tower collapse, I knew the second one was very likely to collapse in the same way, and it did. It was clear the floors hit by the planes were severely weakened, but the fact that they didn’t collapse immediately seemed to suggest they would not. However, I didn’t take into consideration the intense heat from the burning jet fuel. I very much suspect that if these planes had not been carrying enough fuel for a cross-country trip, the towers would still be standing. As the fuel burned and the structural members in the building got hotter and hotter, their strength dropped. At some point, the weight from the floors above caused the weakened floors to collapse. The second tower hit was the first to collapse because the building’s weight above the damaged floors was greater. Once the damaged floors collapsed, the impact of the weight from the upper floors hit the lower floors. This was too much for the undamaged floors to handle, and they just continued to collapse from the weight and impact from the floors above. It was obviously not a situation that the designers of the buildings ever considered.

Fortunately for us, we had driven from State College to Pittsburgh, so we weren’t stranded there like most conference attendees. In hindsight, I think we forget just how chaotic the situation was and that no one had really considered the country being attacked in the way that it was. The plan they developed to use our own infrastructure against us is troublingly simple and sadistically ingenious. They knew protocol at the time was to do whatever the hijackers requested. The flight deck was not secure because no one seemed to consider that a hijacker might actually be able to fly the plane. Americans also seem to forget that many people are willing to die for a cause. We were obviously aware of the many suicide bombers in the middle east–it seems like these are much less frequent now–but teaching a suicide bomber to fly a jumbo jet into a building was something I don’t think many people, if anyone, had considered at the time.

The next conference trip I remember was one many years later after Amanda’s health seemed to have stabilized. This was a conference in Orlando in 2005. We decided to make the trip via Amtrak’s Auto-train service that consisted of an overnight train trip from the Washington, DC area to the Orlando, FL area. The unique aspect was that they loaded your car on the train for the trip. I suspect this was essentially direct towards retirees making the trip to FL for the winter. Thus, we drove down to DC and traveled with our car down to Florida. Neither Rita nor I had been on an overnight train trip, and we thought it would be an interesting experience for Caleb and Amanda. Unfortunately, the route is not at all scenic, but I think the kids enjoyed the trip. We spent time at Disney World and a few of the other tourist attractions in Orlando. We took the Auto-train down to Florida again over Spring Break in 2009 to visit my dad.

Unfortunately for Amelia, she was born after I got tenure and stopped going to as many conferences.

Less Than Zero Tolerance

by Eric Mockensturm

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